Uptime Tycoon

Run a fan status room and keep it online until launch night.

Loading your friend’s challenge…

Uptime Tycoon

Your status room is starting up. Handle reports to earn your first points.

Come back later: your room keeps earning for up to 8 hours while you are away, and the total is shown here.

0uptime points

0per second

×1.0launch traffic

–boost

Handle reports +1

Keys: H or Space handles reports, 1–9 buy upgrades 1–9, B buys the cheapest you can afford.

Upgrades Booting

1. Second MonitorOne more screen for the graphs · 0.2/s each30owned 0
2. Desk FanKeeps the little server from sulking · 0.9/s each130owned 0
3. Coffee MachineNight shifts need fuel · 3.5/s each550owned 0
4. Page CacheServes the same answer twice without asking · 12/s each2.4Kowned 0
5. Load BalancerSpreads the crowd over more doors · 40/s each10Kowned 0
6. On-call FriendAnswers the pager at 3 am · 130/s each42Kowned 0
7. Mirror RackA second copy of everything · 420/s each170Kowned 0
8. Report BotReads the queue so you do not have to · 1.4K/s each700Kowned 0
9. Cooling LoopQuiet, cold and very blue · 4.8K/s each3Mowned 0
10. Backup GeneratorFor when the street goes dark · 16K/s each13Mowned 0
11. Night Shift CrewSix people, one pizza · 55K/s each55Mowned 0
12. Satellite UplinkReports from orbit · 190K/s each240Mowned 0
13. Lucky HorseshoeNobody knows why it works · 650K/s each1Bowned 0

Today's outage

Something broke in the room

………

Milestones

• Desk plant at 2K points
• Neon "ONLINE" sign at 100K points
• Wall clock at 1M points
• City window at 10M points
• Launch banner at 100M points

Launch Night

Opens on 19 November 2026.

Launch Night: reset and earn ×1.5

Share my room Copy challenge link Download PNG

Square (Discord) 1080×1080Phone story 1080×1920

Handle reports, buy upgrades that earn uptime points every second, come back to collect what your room earned while you were away, and fix one outage a day. A fan idle game, not a real status signal.

What a status page actually measures

A real status page is a scoreboard of a handful of signals, measured from outside the service: availability (can a request get a correct answer right now, checked every minute or so from several places), latency (how long that answer takes, usually quoted as the 95th or 99th percentile so a few slow requests show up), error rate (the share of requests that fail) and, behind the scenes, saturation (how close servers, databases and links are to their limits). "99.9% uptime" over a month means about 43 minutes of downtime; "five nines" (99.999%) is about 26 seconds. Status pages are usually written by the company itself and lag a few minutes behind the first reports, which is why player reports often notice a problem first.

Why launches overload servers

A launch is the one moment when everyone arrives at once. Sign-in, licence checks, the first download and the first online session each hit a different system, and any one of them can be the bottleneck. Caches do not help much at first because nothing has been cached yet (the "cache stampede" in the game is a real pattern), retries from millions of clients can turn a small hiccup into a storm, and load balancers can only spread traffic across the capacity that exists. Teams prepare with pre-loads, queues, extra capacity and rehearsals, but a day-one rush is still the hardest test any service faces. The launch-day guide and the pre-load page say what you can do about it on your side.

Honest note: nothing in this game reflects the real status of any service. The incidents, upgrades and numbers are invented. Rockstar has not said anything about launch-night capacity, and no platform is named here.

Questions

How does Uptime Tycoon work?

Press "Handle reports" to earn uptime points, then spend them on upgrades for your status room: more monitors, a desk fan, a coffee machine, a page cache, a load balancer and so on. Every upgrade earns points on its own, every second, even while the page is closed (up to 8 hours). As launch day gets closer, traffic grows and so does your income.

What is the daily outage?

Once a day (midnight UTC) something breaks in your room: fan noise, a cache stampede, an expired certificate. Work out what it is, what to do first and how to check it worked, three choices each. Solving it doubles your income for 15 minutes and counts as one of today's dailies. After 20 players have solved it you can see how everyone else diagnosed it.

What is the Launch Night prestige?

On 19 November 2026 the Launch Night button opens: it resets your upgrades and gives a permanent income bonus, so a second run goes faster. Before then it shows a countdown.

Is this connected to the real status of anything?

No. It is a fan idle game with made-up incidents and made-up upgrades. For the real thing, see the live status and player reports on the home page.

Packet Pipes

Keep it up: untangle today's network

A daily rotate-the-tiles puzzle on an invented network board: turn every cable until the signal runs from the console to the server in one tree. Par, stars, a streak and a grid to share. A fan mini-game.

Play today's board

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